Monday, December 25, 2017

waiting?

Monday, December 25, 2017

Saturday, December 02, 2017

around the clock

Saturday, December 02, 2017
people will ask me "how do you work around the clock?"

well, the usual - I said. And continue saying that

"when you're working, you feel the need to sleep. but, when you're laying on bed; ready to get some sleep, your brain start working again...then, you get up, ready on your desk to work...and the cycle continues "around the clock"

x, LJ

Friday, December 01, 2017

hati

Friday, December 01, 2017

teary, dearly, sorry


Thursday, November 30, 2017

wake up!

Thursday, November 30, 2017
hey, wake up! go back to Him. InshaAllah, you'll find your way...

Sunday, November 26, 2017

letting go...

Sunday, November 26, 2017
Sometimes you find yourself trying to let go of something
But it's like, you have been swimming on the ocean for a very very long time
And you feel like you belong there
You are one with the waves
The warmth of the water
And your body moves in sync with the ocean
And you swim around just trying to stay afloat
Then you get tired and you start to drown
And you swim back to land
When you get there you just feel so heavy because you lost touch with gravity for so long
And you collapse on the beach as you try to find balance again
And then your feet finds gravity
You stand up and you look at the horizon one last time
And you just know that no matter how beautiful the sea was
And how good it made you feel
It was never yours to keep
And somedays you'll miss it, you know
And you feel yourself moving with the waves and you dream of diving in
Then you realize your feet was meant for land
And not cut out for the ocean
Maybe you're meant to climb trees, or hike hills, or just run really fast

Letting go is not easy
There's nothing quite like swimming in the ocean
Just like how it's natural for your feet to find gravity
It's natural for you to let go
And find your true purpose in life again
The sea is the sea
And you are just you
I have to let go
But sometimes I find myself waking up at the beach again - Unrequited love by Yuna


Saturday, November 25, 2017

A ... cgpA?

Saturday, November 25, 2017
Result UPSR baru keluar, jauh lagi perjalanan anak-anak ni... hehehe

Ini result-result aku...dari Darjah 6 sampailah darjah "tertinggi" ni... hahaha


UPSR (1997) 

4A

Ini, aku tak sangka jugakla... macam boleh dapat semua A, tapi, tak la yakin gila kan... hahaha... masa tu, kami 4 orang je kot dapat semua A? Aku sekolah rendah di Lahad Datu, Sabah.


PMR (2000)

8A

Aku tak sangka boleh dapat straight As untuk PMR sebab aku rasa aku tak mampu untuk dapat keputusan begitu. Bukan budak "terre." Rajin tu, bolehla kadang-kadang... haha. Aku siap plan lagi, kalau result teruk, aku nak masuk sekolah vokasional masa tingkatan 4. haaa... sampai mcm tu sekali.... hahaha...

Kalau aku tak silap, batch kami terbaik negeri Kedah kot utk PMR 2000 tu. Kalau tak silap la... hahaha ...Kalau silap, top 3 negeri Kedah kot? hahaha


SPM (2002)

6A 4B (Chemistry, Biology, Add Math...aku tak ingat lagi satu B ape, Sejarah kot?...haha)

Ini lagi aku tak sangka...haha...tapi, alhamdulillah. Sekolah siap jemput untuk Hari Anugerah Cemerlang tahun berikutnya untuk terima anugerah. Dapat la anugerah dari Sultan Abdul Halim (kali kedua, pertama masa dapat PMR..hehehe)


Matrikulasi (2003) 

3.98 kot? ke 3.99? hahaha

pergh... alhamdulillah... melompat-lompat aku n mak aku masa dapat result second semester.... I would say yang matrik senang kot? Apa yang kita belajar sem tu, itula yang keluar utk exam sem tu. Tukar sem, lain dah content kan? hehehe. Dan lecturer masa kat Matrik Labuan, AWESOME sangat2! Pembelajaran sangat2 best. Rakan sekelas pun hebat-hebat. Bersemangat belajar! Masa kat Matrik ni lah aku jatuh CINTA dengan Kimia dan mengambil keputusan untuk Major Kimia masa degree. hehehe


Degree (2008) 

3.12...kot? tapi, 3.1++ la.... hahaha...

alhamdulillah. Tapi, bagi aku, degree susah gila. Antara sebab-sebab susah (selain malas kot?):

(1) aku degree Sains Pendidikan. Semua pelajar sains pendidikan wajib ambil subjek sains di "School Science" tersebut. Maknanya. belajar dengan student yang memang student school tu la.
(2) ambil 4 subjek Matematik di School of Mathematics - perghh...ini paling mencabar... susah gilaaa... hahaha...
(3) ambil subjek major (Kimia) di School of Chemistry - ini okla, ada yang susah, ada yang senang...Buat lab dengan student Chemistry... ko bayangla kan, kami budak pendidikan kot, tapi, masuk lab dengan student budak Kimia... pergh... alhamdulillah berjaya jgk... hehehe
(4) ambil subjek minor (Biologi) di School of Biological Sciences - ini tak susah sangat. boleh skor la... hehehe... belajar Genetik best gila! suka sangat subjek tu... hehehe
(5) ambil subjek Pendidikan di School of Educational studies - alhamdulillah, ini semua dapat A kot?

Nampak tak huru-hara jadual budak pendidikan? belum lagi clash waktu course dengan lab la - wajib ambil Ko-K lagi - kursus Titas - BM dengan BI under Pusat Bahasa lagi - dan aku sempat lagi ambil course Bahasa Arab, sekadar untuk suka-suka (sampai terlebih credit hours)... hahaha

Tapi, alhamdulillah tak pernah la kena ulang paper... fuhhh... dan pernah gak la merasa dapat Anugerah Dekan... hehe... alhamdulillah


Master (2012) 

Fully research... takdak coursework. Lain pula cabarannya... ini entry lain la... hahaha


PhD (in-progress...hahaha) 

3.973 (20 courses)

Alhamdulillah. Dua je course yang dapat A-, itupun berapa point je (tak sampai 1 markah pun) untuk dapat A sebenarnya...tapi, aku segan nak pi nego dengan lecturer mtk bg A... hahaha. Redha je la kannn... hehehe




Seriously, aku bukan budak pandai. Nak kata aku berusaha tu, of course! especially masa matrik, memang aku all out sebab setahun je kan dan nak masuk universiti lepas tu. Tapi, masa degree, banyak distraction kot? hahaha.... dan memang course yang aku ambil susah... susah bagi aku la... hehehe

Semua ini "rezeki." Memang betul, rezeki! Semua berkat doa ummi dan arwah bapak. arwah nenek aku.... guru-guru... kawan-kawan yang sama-sama berdoa... sekarang, of course berkat doa suami tercinta... hehehe...

Semuanya sebab Allah... Allah yang kurniakan...

Semoga aku dapat berbakti semula kepada keluarga dan masyarakat kelak... mengharumkan nama Islam... inshaAllah...

xo, LJ

Monday, August 21, 2017

heart

Monday, August 21, 2017
USM is very near and dear to my heart

But, Jenan will always have a special place in my heart...


xo,

Monday, July 24, 2017

goals

Monday, July 24, 2017
An excerpt from The Coding Manual for Qualitative Researchers by Saldana (2013)

...should serve as our ideal goals as qualitative researchers:

Only understanding matters.
We must not just transform our data, we must transcend them.
Insight is our forte.
The whole purpose of the enterprise is discovery and revelation.
We do it to be profound... 

written by Harry F. Wolcott

I honestly don't want to "label" myself as a qualitative or quantitative researcher. That would be totally depending on the research questions. Whether the answer could be discovered through quantitative or qualitative methods. I can be both, I would say. I am a pragmatic... "doing what works best"  بإذن الله

Monday, July 10, 2017

scary

Monday, July 10, 2017
I just read some of my posts from over the years... and ... I realized...

I used to love planning!

But,

It's scary to plan now!!! Because am afraid that I couldn't make it :( 


kgcumf

W: we're doing crazy things!

M: love is crazy

I don't need anything from him. Letting him know was enough for me. To keep on smiling :) 



like crazy,




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